Establishing Family Traditions

When my children were very young I read an article that suggested making memories as a family, establishing some traditions that we would carry on year after year. I spoke to my wife about the idea and she suggested we include a tradition her parents had had during her childhood, of visiting and decorating family graves on Memorial Day. We began going with her parents each Memorial Day and my children don't remember one they have missed. We even made special arrangements to visit those graves (in Oregon) while we lived in Southern California and Oklahoma. Anita's parents are both gone now but this tradition (along with some others) have continued.

1. Plan some (nearly) unbreakable family activities

I think the reason the Memorial Day tradition stuck is because my in-laws would have visited those graves with or without us. Knowing they were going made it that much easier to settle that we were going.

2. Have some fun with family traditions

We chose early to incorporate some children's activities in Memorial Day. It is a long day with lots of driving so we planned for breaks throughout the day and a big finish just for the kids.

3. Use traditions to teach manners and etiquette

My wife has always been big on a fully set table. Breakfast lunch and dinner were always at the table and always with the dishes and silverware in their proper places.

4. Some traditions may not even be recognized

When my oldest son began courting his wife to be, her parents asked him what some of our family traditions were. We have tons of them but he had never thought of them as traditions. 

5. Allow some flexibility as the children move into adulthood

Memorial day has changed a lot over the years. We no longer go to all of the graves we did when my in-laws were alive but we now go to their graves as well as some of the others. We have had to rent larger and larger vehicles to accommodate my growing family (grandchildren now come with us on our trip). Some parts of the tradition have had to change as places we used to gather during the day are no longer open. We see some further tweaks we will need to make to honor the tradition without becoming burdened by it. Still, we all agree we want to continue with the tradition in a newer format.